Friday, April 9, 2010

Clog - Unclog


San Francisco is a walking town, despite its steep hills and varying micro-climates. I personally enjoy meandering around the different neighborhoods and seeing the different sights, smelling the different smells, and licking the different lickable items. We truly live in an amalgamation of different lifestyles and cultures and all of this is easily accessible to bipeds, so when I heard about the San Francisco Sunday Streets happening at the Embarcadero, I had just had to go.

I had a plan. First, eat heart-stopping, cholesterol laden food at Red's Java. It's supposedly an SF tradition. If Bourdain loved it, I should, too. Then un-clog the damage done to my arteries by power strolling through the closed street until I get to Pier 39 for more sinful delights, for there in that tourist trap is a destination onto itself: my favorite doughnut place, Trish's Doughnuts.

Well, the food at Red's Java was typical diner fare. Nothing too special, but the ambience was just pure, authentic, by the bay SF. Eating my huevos rancheros (see pic above) al fresco while fending off birds' advances to my food was simply too precious and charming. (Okay, the birds were slightly annoying and the sun's morning rays were getting into my eyes was just irritating and temporarily blinding, but what do you think you'll get from a blog about loving SF?) I'm coming back to try their Fish and Chips, though. I love fish and chips, and that's an order you just can't mess up.

On our brisk walk to Pier 39, working up a sweat to undo the heart clogging we just did, we witnessed a queue forming outside this concrete building. We stumbled in the TCHO plant where they were offering free chocolate samples. What?! Free and Chocolate? My fave combo, more than combo # 3 (apply to any restaurants that list their combo plates, you'll see that the third option is always best). The samples range from fruity, to nutty. I especially loved the fruity, because I am fruity, too. Although if you follow that logic, then I must equally love nutty. I'm confused...I wonder if they'll come up with a flavor that's as complex as I am. They'll call it The Complicated and Complex Conundrum that is Jonsey Balonsey. I'll have to ask for a cut on all the sales they make. No, I'm not a money grubbing whore, but we live in a capitalist society. I might as well get a piece of the pie. Hmmm, pie. I guess they can also sell banana-chocolate cream pie and for the chocolate part, they can use The Complicated and Complex Conundrum that is Jonsey Balonsey flavor. I'll ask for a percentage of the profits from that, too. Then I'll be rich and famous and more people will read my blog, but because I'm rich and famous, I won't have time to write this blog anymore, since I'll be too busy trying to come up with a new chocolate flavor that will top the sales of The Complicated and Complex Conundrum. Anywho, I digress. Below, you'll see the chart/paper plate they came up with to offer their measly samples.


We were moving on and powerstrolling when we finally made it to Pier 39 I was sooooo excited to finally have some Trish's doughnuts after months of abstinence that I almost peed my pants. It's time to re-clog the superior vena cava! I ordered my usual six-piece bag, it looked scrumptious, then took a bite...Um, what happened? This isn't how it usually tastes. It's usually soft, fresh, and billow in the inside. Today it's dry and overcooked. Boooooooo! Where's the consistency? I hate unrealized expectations. Trish, you better get your act together, or else... I still finished the bag, though.

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