The Wonderful World of Wondercon

Is it any wonder why Wondercon has achieved a Must-Attend status? For the past few years we’ve religiously attended this annual Spring soiree designed and designated to the beleaguered and bespectacled, and to this day the wonders never cease to amaze.

Mostly we come to see the Hollywood elite fly north to peddle their latest wares. In previous years, we witnessed Brandon Routh promote the return of Superman (snore, he should’ve stayed wherever he was, although, I must say, Brandon's quite a chesty specimen, where is he?), we saw Chris Pine announce the come-back of Captain Kirk (Thank you, JJ Abrams, you have good taste in leading men..casting couch much?), and Christian Slater sell his moody, gravelly-voiced, depressed take on Batman (darkness fits him like dark eye shadow fits Kristen Stewart). This year was Jake Gyllenhall's turn to sell his biceps to the bespectacled masses, read: nerd herd, and we bought it (I don't know how to quit you, Jake!). I enjoyed the exclusive trailer they showed of "Prince of Persia", but I would've preferred to see the scenes from "Brokeback Mountain" that didn't make it to the movie screens. American's are just so prude. It took a Chinese director to showcase homo love, proving that alternative lives are Oscar worthy. Why aren't we more artsy? Arg!

Other reasons to come to Wondercon are the fun merchandise, from the unrepentively kawaii to the weirdly bizarre toys (see right picture above). Also, just people watching. I saw Deanna Troy, Lindsey Wagner, Erin Gray, female icons of mine from decades past, and lay people who enjoy dressing up as their favorite super hero, or Star Wars characters (see left picture above). So much fun. It's a time when freakazoids can let their freak flags flutter wildly in the blowing wind...and how they blow. The winds of change are a-blowin', my dear nerds. Soon the world will be ours and Victory, The Force, My Precious, Unobtainium, Kryptonite, and the matching Wonder Twins Rings will be ours. The whole, wide world will be bowing to our every whim! Bwahahahaha! Wait, hold on, is there food stuck on my braces? No? Ok,good. Bwahahahahahaha!

I'm so eggscited

I've always loved eating eggs. Scrambled, sunnyside up, hard-boiled, egg-drop soup, egg foo yong, omelettes, eggs benedict, and even deviled. Love em all. So, it follows that adding a fried egg on top of one of my favorite dishes would just take me beyond nirvana. That's exactly what happens when I order my fave roast duck fried rice at King of Thai Noodle in downtown (they have another one at Clement, equally good). I love it when restaurants cooperate to make me happy. Adding an egg on top is not un-reasonable, right? They fry it Filipino-style, too - crispy edges and runny center. YUM! Check out how yummilicious that looks. It's enough to make you wanna kiss it's parents...Yeah, I said it. I'm so grateful that I'll kiss its mom, a hen, and its dad, a cock.

I recommend to start your meal with an appetizer and their best offering is their seafood salad. It's citrusy, not too heavy and a medley of textures and flavors that will make you come back for more. The most interesting element is the white mushroom which looks like a spongey sea creature. I guess that's why they thought it would work in a seafood salad. Check out Boobsie attempting a bite below.

Their noodles are awesome, too. However, the last time we ate there we had to wait fooooreeeveeer to get our rad na. Honestly, I was done eating my duck fried rice when the noodles came. Obviously, they forgot that order. Major points off for the bad service. You'd think they would've offered to comp our drinks at the very least, right? I guess being a popular restaurant can work against you. If you know you're the bomb, who cares if you tick off some customers? There's always a long line of hungry tourists and locals waiting to take over our seats.

Growle'!

I've sworn off attending the annual Chinese New Year parade because the last time I attended it, which was a few years back, we had the misfortune of being pelted with unforgiving rain. Nothing ruins a parade like Mother Nature's michievous sense of humor. There we were, huddled with the hoi poloi, freezing like popsicles and watching plastic-draped dragons flailing and failing to excite the crowd. Big surprise - we're watching plastic-draped dragons while fending off hypothermia. Glum was our collective adjective.

This year was a different story. The weather cooperated fully and allowed for a fun time to be had by all. It's the year of the Tiger and we're all enjoined to growl! GROOWRRL! BTW, one of my favorite onomatopoetic outbursts.

Of course, something had to dampen my spirits despite the perfect weather. One of the mascots (thematically dressed as a tiger) was high fivin' through the crowd and when I raised my hand, he totally ignored me! He totally left me hanging. See the rude tiger's pic below.

Anywho, I'm trying not to be offended by non-high-fivin' Tiger. And my sour grapes reasoning is: High fives, who needs them? They're quite passe'. It's all about terrorist bumps nowadays. They're all the rage in Iraq, you know.

Also, it won't be an outing with Jonsey Balonsey without a healthy dose of embarrassment. We saw the KTVU Channel 2 float and Boobsie said, "Oh, we know him, he's Suzuki the newscaster!" I took his word for it so I shrieked at the guy on the float, "Suzuki! Suzuki!"

He gave me a semi-blank smile which was cryptic to me. Later on, I found out that his name wasn't Suzuki, but Sasaki. Embarrassing!

Attack of the Killer Orchids!

As I walked around the San Francisco Orchid Society's 2010 Pacific Orchid Expo entitled Carnaval! (Yes, with a startling exclamation mark, please), I realized that I knew very little about these exotic fleurs. I had the notion that orchids were merely ornamental and pretty, but my original idea was very quickly obliterated as I saw the outstanding variety and diversity the expo had to offer.
As you can see in these pictures, orchids come in a different sizes, colors and shapes. Boobsie even bought one called "Pagan Love Song"...hmmm very exotic.

There were even really scary ones that were aptly named Draculas! No pictures of draculas made it to this post, though. I did not want to give you nightmares. However, please enjoy these pictures I took of the orchids I thought stood out the most and if you're so inclined, you should mark your calendars for next years show. I know I will, for scary as some of them may appear, most of them were just extraordinarily beautiful. I'll need my orchid fix next year, for sure.

Unphotogenic Delights at Tartine

"What? You've never had weekend breakfast at Tartine? Oh, gosh you should go and have their breadpudding or their morningbuns. To die for!".

I've been hearing this forever and God knows, I've thought about it and planned it, but somehow it never panned out. Something about waking up early on weekends just totally messes up my inner wirings. Last weekend I finally bit the bullet and made a commitment to initiate myself to this San Francisco tradition on Saturday. Of course, it had to be the morning when it's raining and the whole city just felt like it was drenched and gloomy. I picked up my friend, Boobsie, and together we ventured off. On the drive to Dolores Park, with the sound of the windshield wipers as a background to Boobsies raves about the delicious Tartine offerings, my mouth was salivating.
Boobsie: "Oh, yes! The bread pudding is soooo goood, but they're over-rated."
Leave it to him to always come up with contradictory statements. I wanted to point out this contradiction, but I digressed. I haven't had my coffee and I didn't want our conversation to turn into a full blown argument. So, I bit my forked tongue.

We finally arrived, and of course Tartine is not only famous for their pastries, but also infamous for their long lines. As luck would have it, the queue was quite long and included an additional negative. Behind us was a very loud, obnoxious cel phone user who deemed it appropriate to shout all of his phone blabbing into our sensitive, un-caffeneited ears. Rude. I think I would have felt differently about this guy if I understood the language he spoke which was italian. It's one thing to shout on your cel phone in public, it's another to deprive your unwitting audience of the ability to determine the reason behind all the screaming. We need to understand at least your end of the conversation to know this. (Although, in your case it seemed pretty unilateral, since you never stopped your yapping)

This was not an auspicious start, the rain, the mixed review, the loud un-eavesdroppable talker...We eventually got our food: prosciutto, cheese and arugula pressed sandwiches (reminds me of Roma), bread pudding and banana cream tarte. All were ultra-yummy and delicious and satisfying and worthy of all the respect and kudos it's been given by SF local foodies.

We ate on a nearby bench and while we were eating and reveling in our delights, I suddenly remembered to take pictures. (Sorry, they didn't turn out well, as you can see. Believe me, the food tasted better than it looks in the photos). As I was taking my last bites of the bread pudding I looked up and I realized that the sun was shining brightly, and that it's been that way for awhile. The city was warm, dry and families were walking pass us with wide smiles on their faces. What brought on this fantastic change? Did Tartine's pressed sandwich and the bread pudding bring with it not only gastronomic satisfaction, but also a magic that can turn gloom into unicorns, puppies and rainbows?

No. Sorry to burst your bubble. I've always believed that climatic changes occur when people bite their tongues and keep their negativity inside. It makes for a better day. However, some studies say that suppressed emotions can cause inordinate weight gain. Oh, well.

Hmmm, how your powers have grown.

Well, well, well. If it isn't my old nemesis KitKat. You who had forced me to eat you despite my guttural pleas of resistance, knowing fully well that a moment of you through my lips means a lifetime in my hips! Arg, if only my hips could lie, but much like Shakira's, they can't. The story they tell is one where you have conquered me with your full might and crushed my self control resulting to one undeniable confession: I'm chubby.

I have told my self time and time again, "No sweets, no sweets". A mantra that failed whenever I heard that infectious jingle of yours. It haunts me even today.
...Gimme a break, gimme a break, break me off a piece of that Kitkat bar...
Like a siren's song that entices lost seamen, you beckoned and I yielded. But that was years ago and a lot has changed since then. Today I am stronger and fitter. I've resisted sweets and diligently clocked perspire-y hours at the gym that I can now proudly claim: I'm slightly less chubby.

But I see you've returned and more formidable than ever. Your accomplice, Raunchy Richelle, smuggled you in from Japan where you completely redesigned your fighting style. You have modified your offensive technique from Chocolate chop attacks to Green Tea Grabs and Ginger Ale Jump-kicks. I must say, I'm impressed, but you're still no match to my signature moves: the Jonsey Balonsey Jabs. Yes, those are interesting new flavours, but I'm not the old, weak-willed Jonsey Bal...Oh, what's that you say? You managed to maintain your crispy, delicious goodness at your core? The green tea and ginger ale flavors are so spot-on I'd think that my taste buddies were pulling a prank on me? Oh, well, maybe ...well, a tiny bite won't hur...just a bite...Crunch...Oh, curses, you flavorful fiend. You win again!

From Tofu Soup to Photoshoot

Grumble, grumble, grumble. My tummy's hungry and I need some deliciousness inside me and I don't want to go the same ole, same ole route. I feel the need for a new discovery, a place I've never been to. Luckily, Raunchy Richelle knew exactly where to go. Doobu restaurant at Japantown Adjacent is great! I must say that they rival the tofu soup at My Tofu House - wait a minute, I don't know any other place that serves Korean tofu soup...oh well. To date, I'm not sure which is better, though. My tastebuds haven't made a decision. Both restaurants have the same selection of banchan, the usual suspects of kimchi, bean sprouts, etc. with a small fried fish for each diner, which was awesome. I ordered the beef and assorted seafood tofu soup and it was great. The seafood was fresh, especially the oysters, but peeling the shrimp was laborious. Sticky Fingers Ann ordered the seafood soup and Rauchy Richelle had the assorted mushrooms. We were all happy campers, except they only had one server during their very hectic lunch hour. Not sure if it was poor staffing or if someone called in sick, but that crowd needed more than one server, for sure.

As usual, pictures were taken of the food for blogging purposes and it invariably spiraled into an impromptu photoshoot. What is it about new cameras and friends and good food that puts people into a posing mood? Is this how Kate Moss started? Doubt it, it would mean that she actually eats...maybe she just takes a sniff here and a sniff there and then she's ready for her close up!

PS - Note how Sticky Fingers didn't seem to bother to take a picture of me and Raunchy Richelle....Hmmm, someone's a camera hog.

A Cat Even Loyal Dog Lovers Can Love

In our quest for a theme for our Christmas 2009 gift exchange we ended up deciding on "Cutesy Patootsy". First because, we all embrace the little girl inside of us and secondly, the budget was $10.00 (in keeping with America's current economic crisis - BTW: Barack, please get us out of Iraq). Of course this theme is subject to varied interpretations and it was meant to be that way. Considering the theme and the budget constraint, one might expect to open a present and see tiny, adorable knick-knacks (cutesy), or probably miniature candies (patootsy), or a framed picture of Taylor Lautner or Nick Jonas(either one of them definitely cutesy patootsy), but that's not what happened.

Now, you've heard of women who work together getting their menstrual cycle synch together, well I guess what happened to us was kinda like that. We all psychic-ly linked and decided that "Cutesy Patootsy" meant only one thing - that classic kawaii icon - Hello Kitty! Now, I really wasn't so surprised because ever since I can remember Sticky Fingers Ann has been robbing my desk of my Hello Kitty pencils. The entire booty comprised of brilliant things such as: mechanical pencils, light up stamps, personalized cards and notebooks, the whole gamut, all emblazoned with Hello Kitty's copyrighted image. We were all transported to when we were giggling little girls with pigtails and frilly dresses...well, ok my memory was invented, but still. Happiness and contentment defined us.

The gifts were great, but I breathed a sigh of relief when I realized that no one purchased the fake Sanrio stuff. My friends told me that in certain regions fakers abound and they produce not-quite-right Sanrio knock offs. I don't think I could fake a smile if I ended up opening a present with a cute image of a cat whose name is "Hello Katty". Meeeouch!

Why so crabby?

When my friends said we're eating at Roy's, a hawaiian restaurant chain, I had very low expectations. Having visited Hawaii a few times, I know that anything attempting to be Hawaiian-esque in our cold, foggy city will surely fail. Which is why Roy's was smart in tagging itself as "hawaiian fusion", because grasping for 50th state authenticity is not something you can really achieve.
The evening started inauspiciously, as our table was right underneath a busted light bulb. Great. We needed flashlights to see what they had to offer in their menus. One of my amigas had to stand up and walk closer to the bar where there was better lighting. Not sure if because it was really that dark and the flashlights weren't cutting it, or because she just recently had her blepharoplasty done on her eyes and she was still healing.
Anywho, darkness aside, the food was great and the service highly competent. Make sure to order the crabcake with macadamia nut (pictured here), and finish with the chocolate molten mousse (order early on as it takes the kitchen awhile to prepare this dessert). Please see my complete review at my website. Aloha!

Appeteasers are Crowd Pleasers

Boulevard is to be experienced. From the beautiful Belle Epoque setting designed by Pat Kuleto, to the delicious French-influenced cuisine by Nancy Oakes, the entire time you spend there is absolutely arresting - until you drink the iced tea.
It's a glass of snore.

Anywhooz, enough with the dissing. I still enjoyed this restaurant, despite it's iced tea short coming. The main entree highlights were the rack o'lamb and the pork chop. They were competently created and very good to my tummy, however the starters were beyond the beyond! The two highlights were: soft boiled egg and foie gras. The crispy farm egg, pancetta, with semolina fonduta was amazing. The creativity behind the end product just startled my tastebuds. It gave me a glimpse of what the chef envisioned; she wanted the diner to have that perfect bite - a piece of pancetta, with softboiled egg and porcini mushroom. Honestly, it was lovely. She knew that that perfect bite would be transcendent.

The other appetizer that was equally satisfying was the seared Sonoma foie gras, with pumpkin brioche, spiced butternut squash, candied pecans and cranberry crackle. The rich flavor of the foie gras was the perfect complement to the sweetness of the cranberry crackle and the candied pecans. It's a must have! Although, I must admit that the foie gras got a little too rich and the brioche wasn't neutralizing that immense richness enough, well that's what the free bread is for!

Check out my complete review of Boulevard at http://www.jonseybalonsey.com/.